first day of school…

it is hard to believe kiddo but it is that time. you had your very first day of school today.

my day went a little like this:

completely and unbelievably excited about your first day, packing your lunch, cutting the sandwich into a heart shape, adding extra surprises in, getting you up, lots of kisses and snuggles, making you raspberry and blueberry pancakes and sausage, fixing your hair “handsome with spikes in the front”, getting your shoes tied, walking to the end of the driveway, taking a slew of pictures, and watching you get on the bus. then lots of squealing and excitement as i got into the car to go meet you at school and getting about 1/4 of a mile down the road on an unbelievable rush of excitement before crocodile tears started to fall and i began crying like a baby. i mopped it up before you got off the bus as school so you wouldn’t see but then that face of uncertainty when you got off the bus. it nearly broke me all over again. you looked so scared and apprehensive- two things you rarely ever are. i wanted to run to you and scoop you up and take you home. instead i held your hand and walked you to your class, hung your book bag, helped you meet your teacher, find your desk, get settled. i snuck in one last hug before (ruefully) leaving. now, less than 3 hours later i’m almost in a frenzy wondering how you are doing, if it’s going ok, if you’ve conquered the class already and are up there teaching everyone (only you little one!), if you’ve got a smile on your face instead of fear, if you’re lunch was good enough, counting the time until you come home and i can bombard you with a million questions! i also can’t help but think about all the things that got us to this day. all the help i got along the way to get you here. from the very beginning before you were born to now. i’m so completely and totally grateful for all of it. for the sum of everything that got us to today….even if it makes me an emotional wreck and makes me want to come peek in a window to see you!

your day? your day probably went like this:

mom woke me up really early (because no she hasn’t been preparing me for getting up early by slowly waking me up a little earlier each day) and then started asking me questions about what i wanted to wear when all i wanted to do was sleep! once i got dressed and headed upstairs she turned on the tv for some cartoons while she finished breakfast- that wasn’t too bad. and then she made me exactly what i asked for last night; which was pancakes with berries and a side of sausage. but by this morning i didn’t want that. this morning i wanted plain pancakes and no sausage. but i ate anyways because well, it was pretty good and it was there. then i asked mom for the coolest hair (handsome with spikey in front) and while she didn’t get it right the first time she did on the second go round. then i put on my shoes and peeked in my backpack to make sure that mom had packed my lunch. after that she insisted on a million pictures as i walked down the driveway, it’s just me walking, down a driveway mom. then i was feeling cool and confident and watching for the bus. then it pulled up. and i walked right up, no fear. but then i had to introduce myself to a new person (the bus driver) and sit by myself and i think i may have overestimated this whole excitement thing. then i pulled up to school and there was a strange person who got me off the bus and then i saw my mom again. what is she doing here? she walked me to my class and then helped me do all the things i really could have done by myself and then she gave me a few more kisses and then (thankfully) left. now i’m here at school and i’m……….(to be continued)

i love you kiddo. someday you’ll look back on this and cringe at what a mess i was but it’s a pretty special day and moment for you and for me as a result. i’ve included a few pictures below to remember the day by….oh, i can’t wait to see you get off the bus in just 2 hours and 38 minutes!!!!

i have never been more proud of you as a mom!

i have never been more proud of you as a mom!

mr cool and confident!

mr cool and confident!

there you go!!!

there you go!!!