first day of school…

it is hard to believe kiddo but it is that time. you had your very first day of school today.

my day went a little like this:

completely and unbelievably excited about your first day, packing your lunch, cutting the sandwich into a heart shape, adding extra surprises in, getting you up, lots of kisses and snuggles, making you raspberry and blueberry pancakes and sausage, fixing your hair “handsome with spikes in the front”, getting your shoes tied, walking to the end of the driveway, taking a slew of pictures, and watching you get on the bus. then lots of squealing and excitement as i got into the car to go meet you at school and getting about 1/4 of a mile down the road on an unbelievable rush of excitement before crocodile tears started to fall and i began crying like a baby. i mopped it up before you got off the bus as school so you wouldn’t see but then that face of uncertainty when you got off the bus. it nearly broke me all over again. you looked so scared and apprehensive- two things you rarely ever are. i wanted to run to you and scoop you up and take you home. instead i held your hand and walked you to your class, hung your book bag, helped you meet your teacher, find your desk, get settled. i snuck in one last hug before (ruefully) leaving. now, less than 3 hours later i’m almost in a frenzy wondering how you are doing, if it’s going ok, if you’ve conquered the class already and are up there teaching everyone (only you little one!), if you’ve got a smile on your face instead of fear, if you’re lunch was good enough, counting the time until you come home and i can bombard you with a million questions! i also can’t help but think about all the things that got us to this day. all the help i got along the way to get you here. from the very beginning before you were born to now. i’m so completely and totally grateful for all of it. for the sum of everything that got us to today….even if it makes me an emotional wreck and makes me want to come peek in a window to see you!

your day? your day probably went like this:

mom woke me up really early (because no she hasn’t been preparing me for getting up early by slowly waking me up a little earlier each day) and then started asking me questions about what i wanted to wear when all i wanted to do was sleep! once i got dressed and headed upstairs she turned on the tv for some cartoons while she finished breakfast- that wasn’t too bad. and then she made me exactly what i asked for last night; which was pancakes with berries and a side of sausage. but by this morning i didn’t want that. this morning i wanted plain pancakes and no sausage. but i ate anyways because well, it was pretty good and it was there. then i asked mom for the coolest hair (handsome with spikey in front) and while she didn’t get it right the first time she did on the second go round. then i put on my shoes and peeked in my backpack to make sure that mom had packed my lunch. after that she insisted on a million pictures as i walked down the driveway, it’s just me walking, down a driveway mom. then i was feeling cool and confident and watching for the bus. then it pulled up. and i walked right up, no fear. but then i had to introduce myself to a new person (the bus driver) and sit by myself and i think i may have overestimated this whole excitement thing. then i pulled up to school and there was a strange person who got me off the bus and then i saw my mom again. what is she doing here? she walked me to my class and then helped me do all the things i really could have done by myself and then she gave me a few more kisses and then (thankfully) left. now i’m here at school and i’m……….(to be continued)

i love you kiddo. someday you’ll look back on this and cringe at what a mess i was but it’s a pretty special day and moment for you and for me as a result. i’ve included a few pictures below to remember the day by….oh, i can’t wait to see you get off the bus in just 2 hours and 38 minutes!!!!

i have never been more proud of you as a mom!

mr cool and confident!

there you go!!!

the cabin…

i made plans to run away for the week with my mom…a week, just her and i, no cell phones, no computers, no demands….it sounded blissful. the reality was even better. the reality of just over a week with nothing but my mom and i in the middle of nowhere with no demands, schedules, or requirements was perfect…it was lovely…it was peaceful…it was paradise. now that’s not to say we didn’t aspire to do things while there. we most certainly did. first thing in the morning we rose and started the coffee. this was followed by a run on the beach which was followed by drinking the fresh coffee. and then….then! that’s when things really started happening in our days. we got back in our beds and drank the coffee while talking of everything and nothing. eventually the pup would look at us longingly (for she had discovered just what a heavenly place she was in) and want to go for her swim lessons. so out we paddled in the kayaks each of us making sure to keep her between our boats and out she walked more and more until she was swimming. after that we’d take a bigger boat that fit us 3 out to the islands and then back to sun awhile. and there we would lay and talk…..the dog? well she loved being between us in the sun for over an hour. no really, she did. mom would lay out a towel for her to lay on, i would set up her beach umbrella and she would immediately lay down and watch the waves hit the beach content just to be for hours….yeah, you could pretty much say she was the perfect companion for us. after a while we’d get hungry and rustle up some food maybe even a beer if the occasion called for it (it usually did) and then in for some reading, napping, more reading and then a few cards games with tea and dessert before bed. yes, yes, i know you are asking yourselves if we really did all of those things in such a short span of time and everyday…it was tough but we persevered. but that is what was majestic about where we were…this magical place called the cabin. that’s what you do there. what is this place? well this place is the stuff of our childhoods. not just my mine but my mother’s as well. whole periods of our lives where we learned how to just be…a skill that i’m sad to report i often forget when life gets really busy. for me the cabin meant summers with my grandfather and learning so many things that i now understand as an adult. somehow he knew that i didn’t need to understand these things then; that when i was a kid i only needed to hear it and retain it so that someday it would come back to me when i needed it. for me it had been 18 years since going back and this was my journey….

we talked aimlessly, excitedly from pembroke to chapeau. about how things have changed or could have changed or what had changed. on and on as we drove. and then we drove over the river and past chapeau to the dead end. and so like in a movie the little turn signal came on and we turned left. left onto the gravel road and left onto so many years of memories. finally here was something that we could hold onto and remember as remaining the same. and with that left turn we fell quiet. it was almost as if neither one of us dared to talk, to break that peacefulness of remembrance and a time lost. the trees were waving in the soft breeze that always pushed through; waving at us beckoning and urging us onward, toward the cabin. THE cabin. the silence was broken coming into the last small town before we were alone in the woods only so we could comment on how little it had changed. the little grocer where you got gas for boats had closed but still stood and across the street was the town’s only little church. a testament to the visitors who bought their houses here from the states and came up to vacation only to need a house of worship and perhaps gather to meet and gossip about goings on.

the freedom. the feeling. the gravel road. as we got nearer and near to the cabin it felt like the road was coming alive under the wheels. we seemed to be heading faster and faster towards that little lane tucked just in between the trees. and suddenly we were in the driveway, the cabin barely visible through the trees. still the same brown with vivd red trim. we pulled to a stop in front of it, the memories flooding back into my mind and flooding my eyes with tears. to be here was sacred beyond all measure and touched more of me than anything else. all i could think was, “oh papa.”

we got out and grabbed the first bags of groceries and headed for the door. walking up the porch the roof seemed shorter but my mind was quickly occupied with that smell of forests and pinetrees and fires and wool blankets and thousands of other memories. we moved quickly then, unpacking, turning on breakers and water, changing our clothes and stripping off the last of the travel clothes for new clothes-river clothes. shorts for the water and closed toed shoes. i opened two beers touched mine to my mother’s briefly and we smiled as we both walked to the river.

down we walked. the porch and steps half the size it used to be. down we dropped 4 times. some steps missing and others recently fortified with the addition of extra boards until at last our feet hit the sand. straight down to the water’s edge and straight out in the water. the dog accompanying us and getting her first taste of swimming. out and out we walked allowing the dog to learn and adapt to the waves and the water. and then I turned inward and headed for land, wanting to sink my toes in the dark red sand hot with iron. until at last I looked back and it was only my mom and her dog in the water with the setting sun framing them; capturing what quickly became the first of many new memories made.

we found ourselves making a brief dinner and readying the cards for cribbage. once the dishes were done and the water was on for tea we sat down to play. after it was lights out for the night. but even as i was settling into sleep i couldn’t stop my eyes filling with tears for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. every moment of remembering caused me to spring a leak so to speak. very much like the song lyric, “every turn a memory.” it was then as i sat watching the last of sunset, reliving all the memories that i realized the roof and stairs and yard of the cabin hadn’t changed. the cabin truly was a place untouched by time. nope, the cabin hadn’t changed at all, but i did.

the first morning we woke up to the cool temperatures that always marked the beginning of a day or the start of evening at the cabin. just enough chill that i could feel it on my nose and burrow down deeper under the blankets. just enough to take me to back to remember that you got up and got dressed immediately because it was too cold to remain in pajamas for breakfast. our days from there on out were the same. boats, water, dog, swimming, walking, running, reading, napping, sleeping, and so on. everyday for me was fun and perfect. not fun and perfect for the great, eventful things we did (because let’s face it we really weren’t too eventful) but rather for the time i got to spend with my mom. and ok, the spending time getting to know my mom’s dog was fun too….i only add this here to keep myself honest and so when my mom reads it she will know i was honest! appy (the pup) is a force to be reckoned with if she doesn’t like you but once she does she’s really easy to fall for! but these were our days just enjoying a land forgotten and each other. and then towards the end of the week came an extra bonus. i got to see my grandmother and cousin and enjoy the cabin with them too. and have such a memorable game of canasta (nona- canaaaaaaasta!) that was likely ever played at the cabin….and that’s saying something considering how  many times that game was probably played at the cabin. i’ve found it is always a joy to learn and get to know my grandmother now at this age. now that i’m older i see, understand, and get to enjoy so much more of who she is as a woman..then again i do the same with my mother but probably not as much because she’s my mom and such a huge part of what i am already. but the days wore on and all too soon our time was up.

and as i had to pack my things to head home i realized that things have changed at the cabin. the water has algae, there are new cabins popping up along the beach, things moved about in the closets, beds rearranged, the islands are now owned…it isn’t completely unchanged but it is still just as perfect a place as ever for memories old and new. and for enjoying solitude and companionship all at the same time…and yes its possible but only in places like the cabin. the cabin is still as it had always remained, right down to the wool blankets and melamine dishes, a part of me.

you can see her legs through the water in this picture as she’s swimming…love it!!

appy and mom not quite in swimming territory yet

just one of the islands a quick row from the house

appy is sitting there thinking, “and i shall forevermore call this island appyland”

a boat, a river, and dog ready to go…what more could a girl ask for?!

appy laying out after her swim lessons..under her umbrella and on her towel of course!

what will i do i wonder…

my cousin nona recently came for a visit. she’s delightful and amazing and impressive…and i’m not sure how much of that she realizes just yet. nona’s brother happens to be brilliant as well. he’s got a mind that while i understand none of it i am in awe of it. they’re both brilliant. it was always fairly obvious how successful he would be. while nona, well i don’t know that we were ever sure what she would do or become when she grew up. there was always an amazing personality from her but no real clear path. and now that she’s grown and graduated from college….well there’s still no real clear path. but THAT is what makes it amazing. her brother we watched blossom into a genius just as we always knew he would. and it’s awesome that he did exactly that. and now with nona i’m enchanted. we don’t know what she will do but it will be fun and exciting watching her get there!

it’s kind of like my brother. he’s brilliant in mind but in a way that doesn’t necessarily have a set path or direction but you know he’s going somewhere. he’s constantly learning, wondering, reading, evolving. sometimes i feel like the black sheep of the family. i had no direction and stumbled into my path by coincidence and luck. yes, i stayed with it because i enjoyed it and happened to be good at it but i’m not quite like my counterparts.

so anyways, there i was planning an itinerary for my cousin and my trip with my mom to see what we could squeeze in and how…i’m a bit fanatical about planning….i suppose if you ever saw my father’s color-coded chart for activities for the grandchildren while they visit you’d understand where i get it from. anyways, the itinerary went something like this:

Saturday: get Nona and head home

Sunday: pack picnic then Blue Ridge Vineyard for picnic and wine

Monday: afternoon Tea

Tuesday: lazy day

Wednesday: despicable me movie then crawfish boil

Thursday: dinner and fireworks

Friday: take Nona to airport, head back for MOST AWESOMEST TRIP EVER with my AMAZING AND WONDERFUL MOM!!! possibly…stop somewhere for the night.

Saturday: wake up and make it to cabin for the day if it’s not too stressful and it suits our mood

Sunday: wake up and see what tickles our fancy

Monday: wake up and try out being footloose and fancy free

Tuesday: wake up and putz around

Wednesday: wake up and see what’s hanging

Thursday: wake up and practice being bums

Friday: wake up and straighten house…ok maybe just think about it and anxiously await my grandmother and cousin

Saturday: wake up and attempt to lure my mom and grandmother into afternoon beers and repeat

Sunday: wake up and be super bummed that i’ll be leaving but be very glad and thankful for the time away

now…obviously it looks like the most perfect of schedule right? yeah, i know. i was thinking that too when i made it. and then i started thinking about how wonderful it would be to see my grandmother and how it was great that she was coming up. and i had to stop. and suddenly i was running for a calendar. and sure enough, the day before i leave, the day after my grandmother arrives is the anniversary of my grandfather’s passing. i haven’t been with my mom and grandmother around this time of year since that year. not necessarily by intention, although it could have been part of my subconscious keeping me away. it’s been a great many years. and so i had to think about how long has it been since he passed away. and i remembered, or thought i did. doubt was creeping in. did i have the year right. the day i’ll never forget but the year. so i started thinking and counting and worrying. does it make me a bad granddaughter that i wasn’t 100% sure of how long he has been gone? it is no less a loss to me even if i can’t remember how many years. it doesn’t make Christmas any easier when i hear greensleeves or for that matter a store playing Christmas music before or on thanksgiving as i start to laugh while crying and quickly leaving before i end up embarrassing myself. my grandfather always said no Christmas music before after thanksgiving dinner. but ohhh as i got older the times i would catch him with the radio on or a tape in. he always said he was just “getting ready” upon being caught….mmm hmm sure papa!

so there i was 99% sure i remembered the year but still wondering. so i went internet searching just for peace of mind and confirmation…because well the internet has everything on it in the world right? i’m sure i could find my husband’s inseam if i searched for it. and surprisingly…it wasn’t readily available to find. but i DID stumble across this about my great grandfather (revised slightly):

….He is one of the young and capable professional men of Huron County, who is successfully engaged in the practice of his profession at Norwalk, with offices in the Citizens Bank Building. He was born in Ohio and his boyhood  was spent there as he attended the public schools. He graduated from University in 1912, and in 1918 received the degree of Doctor of Medicine. His interne work was completed at University Hospital, and he also took graduate work at Children’s Hospital, Philadelphia, and Flower Hospital, New York City. He is an active member of the Huron County Medical Society, Ohio State Medical Society, and American Medical Association. He also belongs to the Ohio State Homeopathic Society, and American Institute of Homeopathy. He is affiliated with University Lodge; Huron Chapter; Norwalk Council; Norwalk Commandery; Toledo Consistory; Zenobia Temple; B. P. O. Elks. He also belongs to Catawba Cliffs Beach Club, Norwalk Country Club, Kiwanis Club and University Club of Cleveland, and Phi Alpha Gamma fraternity. He is president of the Norwalk Chapter of Ohio Lake Erie Island District Association.

My great grandfather did so many things. And yet in reading it, the parallels between how many things he did, invested in, and gave his time for were mirrored by the things my grandfather, his son, had done as well. it’s just…wow. it’s easy to see how some of those things would have rubbed off on my grandfather. it’s the examples set for us right? but as i stared at these remarkable things on paper and remembered my grandfather’s remarkable service, dedication, drive, and teachings i felt lacking. i feel lacking. what have i done like this? how have i even come close to this? yes, i suppose you could look at it that this is the measure of their whole lives that i am reading/remembering and i’m in my 30’s…but what have i done thus far? this is mostly a rhetorical question. just me wondering out loud. of all 4 of  us grandchildren it seems as though all but me are so like him. one cousin is teaching, one cousin has a consistently active voice, and my own brother is following a never-ending road of learning. so again, what have i done or will i do? perhaps its harder to look at one own’s self as clearly but i tried to think what i have done that would have mirrored some of my grandfather’s (and great grandfather’s) achievements and thought of nothing.

perhaps its time that i dive in. i dive in with so many other things (relationships, career) but not on changing, growing. which is yet another way i differ from my grandfather. he rarely dove in. but carefully weighed his options and came to sound, researched, and educated decisions. i just leap, recklessly into the unknown. ohhh look a dark abyss…here i go! i’m not entirely sure what i have done is wrong. it has gotten me certain places and certain things i wouldn’t dare change but i think as i go forward i’m going to ask myself what will i do…and start applying my logic of leaping before i look to a few more things that contribute to the greater good. what that is yet i don’t know. but stay tuned and perhaps by next year at this time i’ll have an update…

and now for something completely awesome….

i must get a million emails a day. mostly spam or junk or things from stores i’ve shopped at or would like to shop at. most of the time i just pass the emails to the trash. sometimes i click and open the email to drool. today was one of those days i was/am so glad i decided to do a little drooling.

who would’ve ever thought….my (amazing and awesome and kick-ass) little school would ever be searchable on a sight such a neiman marcus. seriously. our little sleepy college town. and now you can go to neiman marcus and search for “appalachian”. and do you know what turns up?! well, to save you time i’ll just show you, so you too can drool…..

my college has made it to the big leagues apparently!

a new phrase for me and a ‘marry’ may…

i recently read the blog of a mom who was giving up yelling at her kids for a year. now i don’t yell at jordan (much) since i know that a well placed look can be much more effective and since honestly, he’s grown up understanding that there are limits and he understands and knows what those limits are.

that being said, i did take something away from the post. the woman mentioned that in an effort to stop yelling at her kids she started learning how to use the phrase “at least”. and i began to think about the infinite possibilities that those words have. lets say it’s been a long, trying day at work and i come home attempting to put dinner together and bareak spills over her entire bowl of food….well “at least” i am not out of dog food and i don’t have to run out to the store to get her more food. or perhaps jordan (being in a silly and wild mood- yes it happens!) spills his glass of milk all over everything. definitely not something i want to clean up but hey “at least” he didn’t break the glass as well causing more of a mess…the phrase “at least” has no limits. because no matter the situation it could always be worse. and the “at least” phrase is a good reminder of that.

so in that spirit here is my attempt to catch up on the whole month of may where i forgot about the blog!…but ‘at least’ i was sooo busy have an amazing time these past few months that it was worth it to forget about the blog! but since so many things happened in may i thought i would take a moment to post an update on what has already been one heck of a spring!

may went by so quickly. we had an adults weekend in denver since one of my dearest friends married her longtime love. there were so many events that weekend (exploring new breweries, colorado rockies game, more new breweries, derby themed wedding party,…breweries) but here are a few of my favorite pictures from the weekend…

the weekend started like this…

love him

sig kap girls

tastes better if you raise your pinky

this guy wishes you were here…no really…read the sign, he does!

 

what derby would be complete without bowties and fascinators?!

so that was may….ok so there were a few other things in may too…like this kid who made the track team and did an amazing job running at his meets:

so proud of the kid!

and then there was also shenanigans

fatherly love at the baseball game!

and those shenanigans left us oh so tired…

sleepy kid

and that was may! which brings us to just june….which so far has been anything but “just” june but i’ll blog about that in another post…

adventurous april….

so this past weekend (extended a bit) was amazing! so many exciting things! first up a wonderfully warm day (dare i say spring day??!!)  to go outside and play on the parkway. lots of food, fun, and festivities!

yes. this is me. with pie. and a beer. and life is good!

the best looking men i know!

and then it was Easter and of course that’s my favorite holiday ever! great excuse to get the gang dressed up and enjoy a fantastic brunch and mimosas…not that you need an excuse to enjoy mimosas! but the Easter bunny did stop by to visit!

the kids and the bunny! i think here they were just happy i didn’t make them see the mall bunny!

love my little family!

then on top of that i got to visit family in boone, nc. and continue the easter fun with an egg hunt…

yes, even the big kid searched high and low! and raked in some money too!

these two never stray far from each other!

the easter bunny doesn’t make things easy but this little one isn’t afraid to climb trees!

and boone also happens to be the home to Appalachian State University. and that happens to be my alma mater! and since it has been nearly ten years since i’ve even gone back for a homecoming game, needless to say things have changed. like really really changed. like holy wow changed! just driving into the town..the roads and buildings and new construction. not just the school itself but all the commercialism around the school. boone used to be this sleepy, casual little town. small college town. i think the school has at least 6,000 more students attending now than when i was a student. and of course to accommodate them a whole lot of buildings have been moved, built, updated, and just wow!!!! like double and triple wow! the building i spent 99% of my time in, the one that housed all poli sci majors, is gone. it’s now a state-of-the-art library. and while my building wasn’t too awesome when i was there…it was, well my building! the life changing things that happened in that building! like taking the first class in that building that got me to change my major from psychology to political science. without that one class i wouldn’t be working in the field i am now. and that one class…..it was taught by a professor that i then went on to become my advisor and friend. i took every class the man offered. and routinely joined him and his wife for a meal. he’s a staple to what i remember from college. and so inserting a bit of twilight music here, as we were walking around campus, having just left the very new and pretty library (which made me very sad that my building with all the memories was gone), i headed down the stairs with my family to the mall. and who should be walking up those stairs but my advisor/friend/professor. the only person who i would have ever gone back to boone to see, who would have ever have recognized me was walking up the stairs. in the middle of spring break when the kids and professors are out for the week and we had passed not a single other soul on campus. and he did….he recognized me. and so we chatted and changed business cards and he hasn’t aged a bit. still the same guy. and i have to admit i got a little sentimental. i mean my college years helped define me. so many things about who i am today came about in that small sleepy town….which is now not so small or sleepy. but in fact it seems rather refined and sophisticated. ohhh if only the incoming freshman class could see what our incoming class arrived to. as my sister-in-law put it, back then it was a university and now it’s a UNIVERSITY! then again when you win 3 national champions and pull a coup de grâce and become the first division I-AA football team to defeat a division I-A team ranked in the AP poll you’re bound to experience some growth and recognition! but wow! the whole town is bigger and fancier! it’s oddly disconcerting. they have an outback and a chili’s now! and while i know to some of you that doesn’t seem like big news but believe me when i say boone felt pretty accomplished to have a mcd’s and wendy’s!

good old app state!

overall this was an amazing holiday weekend. gorgeous weather to play outside, perfect family time, trips to old haunts…life is bliss! and to wrap it up there was April Fool’s! which holds sentimental value for me being that it’s my anniversary… but it is also something definitely remembered from childhood. ohhh how my mom had fun with us on this holiday! and so we adults decided to have a bit of fun with April Fool’s since we were now the parents. the poor kids never saw it coming….then again jase and i didn’t either when we were kids! so i called mom to tell her of our idea and share with her how we were continuing her tradition…and she immediately had a better idea (man she’s good!!! taking notes for next year!!)….i’m still in training to become as good as she was. it’s going to take some time but i’ll get there….and in the meantime keeping running things by her for ideas! here are a few photos from our april fool’s trick. we replaced the creme filling in oreos with toothpaste and the staged an oreo cookie eating contest….yes, we gave them real oreos when they realized the gig was up! they got to enjoy the real oreos in front of a nice little bonfire and play hide and seek flashlight tag….tough life!

the contest begins…who can eat all the oreos on their plate the fastest…

big kid realizes that maybe these oreos aren’t so good afterall….

not such a happy camper now!

the two little ones suddenly realized it too…

and then there was one…and she didn’t like it either!

hey, the adults thought it was funny

we had a good laugh!

and then we were responsible parents again. building the fire to keep the kids warm warm!

 

it finally happened….

AND marv was home to enjoy it and partake….we got SNOW!

no really, it snowed! and while this “snow” isn’t much compared to what i remember from childhood it was way more than we have had in about 3-4 years. and it stuck. overnight. and it was pretty and wintery wonderland. and so of course i had to take a million pictures of everyone in the snow.

here are a few of us enjoying the final snow of the year (at least i’m thinking we are done for the year now)….

…reminds me of my grandparents creek

i swear she aged in reverse for the day. she became puppy-like again when she saw the snow!

jordan is attempting to lick the snow off my jacket…j was either throwing snowballs or eating snow!

no one could manage to smile at the same time…must be a guy thing!

best three words ever…

are you ready? i have them. the best three words ever put together. sure you cna handle it?! ok, here they are….

“go ask dad/marv”

yup. its that simple! not only am i thrilled to finally have my husband home but so are our kids. my name gets said about 100 times less during the day. in the car when asked a question by our ever tenacious five year old i find that upon answering said question i get informed that, “no mom, i was talking to marv.” how sweet this is to my ears! now don’t get me wrong, i know i’m still the highest one on my little one’s list (as evidenced by his snuggles and sweetness) but it is rather nice to have a break from answering every question asked in the course of a day, car ride, 5 minute period! anyone with a young child knows exactly how many questions they can ask….and my son definitely is an over-achiever in this area! and while i wouldn’t for a second change this about him it is so nice to have someone else help answer some questions! it is also completely amazing to see how much j’s face lit up when seeing marv. its the kind of thing that just completely warms your heart. not to mention the mini-me he is becoming with marv. today after their boys only lunch date (so i could go catch up with some co-workers) j got in the car with his new toy and said, “mommy, you want to read the destructions?’….destructions….ahhh what a true marv-ism! j is definitely thrilled to have him home. and the older kid- man is he excited! he’s been sticking close to marv ever since he got home! finally he has someone to help with math and work on cars and do guy things! needless to say all is right in our house now for the three of us with our fourth member finally home! we spent the weekend in bliss hanging out and catching up and enjoying every second of being a family! this weekend…more of the same- both with enjoying being together and using my new favorite three words!

so in honor of my guys here’s a pic (it’s from a few years ago. i haven’t forced them to smile for the camera lately….but Easter is soon approaching!)….

diving in…

to so many new things. learning new things to pack for kids lunches. and that packing your lunch is now the cool thing. when did packing your lunch become cool? and that kids are not as embarrassed of their parents anymore. or maybe that’s just my kid. and new ways to broach different subjects or new ways of having patience. i’m also diving into work. today (don’t judge me for the following statement please) i went to pick up my kid in my pajamas….i did have a jacket on top so that no one could really tell. but i literally didn’t leave my desk all day. ok, not entirely true. i did get up and take the kid to the bus stop. but then i got home and did not move from the computer. i didn’t eat, didn’t move, didn’t make any coffee, didn’t do anything but work until 2:05pm. i was a little busy to say the least. but it was a good busy. an accomplishing lots busy. and to make it better all the work i did was to submit a proposal on time today. so it was a gratifying busy. because i didn’t just do work because eventually i’ll have to have it final content ready or eventually i’ll have a deadline looming (which happens often enough, all the hurry up and wait work). but i worked without ending because i needed to fix so many mistakes that my technical team just seemed incapable of understanding why i wanted to actually improve the document! crazy i know but i like sending out great things instead of mediocre! so there i was, in the crazy (and still ridiculously unorganized) carpool line….in my pjs. thank goodness the car didn’t break down. that may have embarrassed the kid! so don’t judge, it was just one of those busy work days! but i successfully got both work and the kid picked up so mission accomplished right?! besides at least i have cute office help for my workday. (more cute pictures of her below)…

i also find myself diving into the odd but always funny conversations with some of my good friends here lately. but thank goodness for them and my husband. you know the conversations or times where you just decide to spaz out a little?!….so this is only something you can do to those extremely close to you. and then you have the difference between the husband and the girlfriends. thank goodness for some of my friends. oh the ridiculous crazy insane (probably funny) and random things i say. i’m definitely one of those people who can’t hold in feelings. i try. i really really do. but man, at the end of the day, i just can’t stomach holding things in. drives me nuts. now thankfully, i am blessed with an understanding husband who, while he may not like it, forgives my random outbursts or comments (hell maybe he chalks it up to tourettes, who knows!) and loves me just the same. but oh. there are times i would not have made it through were it not for the ability to have a sounding board. someone to shore up my arguments, or someone to whine endlessly to, or someone who takes my side just because its me and doesn’t care about the facts. i mean afterall….sometimes you don’t want logic. you just want someone to complain to!!! and only another woman can do that! read all the blogs, articles, etc….men try to solve the problem for you. women are great at just jumping in and saying “how dare they/it/etc!” now i have found the older i get that the number of things that really get to me are far less. mostly i’ve learned that there are so many things not worth the energy. then again, i think that’s part of not holding things in and dealing with and accepting things as they come.  and then there are the things that just aren’t worth your time. like when having a conversation with someone who really doesn’t bother to actually listen…i’ve learned to just ruefully shake my head and not give it much thought. but with my crazy, constantly going life here lately i’m so glad to have someone to talk and be silly with!

but enough of the serious talk…lets take a moment to talk about how cute hilde is and how tough her life is. pictures below to prove the first point and to prove my second point every morning she gets into the chair by the window in my bedroom and lays there because as the sun rises, it hits that chair first and warms it…poor hilde….must be awful. to be that cute…

he’s five…

i have a five year old now. FIVE! wow. and i’m still as in love with him as i was the day he was born. i could sit and watch him smile and/or laugh while watching tom and jerry cartoons all day. seeing his little nose scrunch and he’s finding something amusing about jerry always besting tom. its remarkable. he’s so happy and full of life. literally the personality he has now astounds me. i’m not sure i have as much personality as he does nor am i sure i ever had that much personality.  such a happy little one.

as stated j wanted a scooby doo and tom and jerry themed birthday party. and so he got one! his cousins came to visit and so we had a little party and lots of cake and cupcakes. aaron tried to race someone on the bikes, there was a bug hunt, and did i mention lots of cakes?!

but my favorite moment of the weekend was the hour before the party when we were just hanging out and enjoying lunch at the cav. it was the perfect unwinding for me after a nonstop bake-fest and the perfect gearing up for the party.